


Let The Cookie Crumble

by asmaanixx



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! GX
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 17:44:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10621932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asmaanixx/pseuds/asmaanixx
Summary: Johan tries not to let the world get to him, but sometimes it's hard. And other times, when he is in the embrace of his beloved, it becomes far too easy.





	

Sinking into his seat, and looking around sheepishly, Johan mouthed an apology at all the violent glares that were being directed his way.

Poking his partner in the waist, Johan furiously whispered, "Judai, stop that! You're disturbing everyone."

"I can't help it! I didn't know we were going to watch a comedy!" Judai replied in between another fits of laughter.

"Well try to keep it down, or we'll get kicked out." Johan admonished, glowering.

He reprimanded himself for ever thinking it would be a good idea to bring Judai along. He knew that Judai wasn't the best people person, heck Johan himself wasn't all that great at being around people, but at least even _he_ knew some basic social etiquette. One of them being not to start your own god damn freaking commentary while sitting in a screening room.

Arms crossed, Johan gritted his teeth, when Judai snickered behind his sleeve once more. He pursed his lips as an act of defiance when Judai leaned in to give his thoughts on the scene folding before him. In retrospect, Johan was warned about this by the others. When he had told them what their plans were for the evening he had been given many wary glances and side talks to dissuade him from carrying through. Of course he had thought their cautions to be ridiculous at the time. Merely exaggerations, them not understanding that Judai was simply a laid back, carefree guy who didn't really care about what others thought of him. Johan had once asked Judai if he ever felt disturbed by people gossiping about him, or simply their perceptions of him. Judai hadn't given him a prompt reply. Had been quiet for some time, hugging his knees, looking out towards the sunset, lost in his mind. When he had spoken, he had simply said, "If I do, I'll feel suffocated." And he had left it at that. Johan hadn't pushed it any further and he often came back to this revelation. It wasn't anything too specific or profound that connected with Johan's soul or anything. But it was a statement that made him stay up at odd hours of the night and think about his own place in the world. Who was he truly? Was he a true man or was he merely a creature that has been conditioned and spat back out by society? How can he tell the difference? Sometimes he looks to Judai as if he holds all the answers but Johan knows he doesn't. He's still trying to figure himself out. Sure, Judai is getting by for now, being enveloped by the world of dueling and surrounded by people who love and adore him. But once he steps into the real world, then what? Would the fiery spirit that is Judai Yuki burn out or would it burn the world around him?

"Okay, that's it, _GET OUT!_ " Johan startled as a man sitting a few rows in front of them, furiously pointed at the door behind them. The way his chest was heaving, his face absolutely _livid_ , Johan knew that their time was up. If they wanted to leave the place in one piece, it would be wise to scram now rather than take their chances.

"Come on buddy," Judai began, naively assuming that he could diffuse the situation simply by making an apology.

"Let's go Judai." Before matters could escalate, Johan tapped Judai on the shoulder, and got out of his own seat, indicating he had no intention of staying behind. The movie was ruined, the night was ruined, and he had no desire to get his face ruined as well.

"But Johan..."

"Judai." Johan looked at him sternly, tight lips, strict eyes, no room for ifs or buts.

"Fine." Letting a loud sigh, Judai followed his partner out of the theater.

The walk back to the dorms was quiet. Johan could feel Judai's glances that were occasionally thrown his way but he was in no mood to talk. He knew he would end up snapping at him, and that would leave him feeling like shit for days and when he would think back on it he would beat himself up for fighting over something so stupid like Judai enjoying himself. After all that is what they both went to do right? Be in each others' company, have some fun, and then kiss the night away. Wash, rinse, repeat. That's how it was supposed to be. So how did shit like this creep in and end up making him feel so nasty?

Johan stopped.

With his head thrown back, and his hands grabbing the ends of his hair, he let out a loud scream. Needless to say, Judai was startled. The pair of panicked, sparkling eyes belonging to his partner, made Johan feel even more like shit. Since when had he started scaring Judai? Swallowing the large uncomfortable lump in his throat, Johan took a few steps back. His shoulders hunched, and his eyes refused to leave the dirt path. He stuffed his clenched fists into his pockets and began counting in his head. He had to stop his shaking and put on a stupid reassuring smile before Judai started asking questions. He wondered if he should just go back to his own room for the night. He doubted he would be good company anyways.

"Hey, you okay there buddy?" Judai tentatively asked, his hand halfway reaching out to him.

Shit. Here came the questions. Johan took a few more deep breaths before he said something stupid.

"Yeah." He bit out. That's good. There's no need to say anything more. Just leave more things get really bad. "I think I'm gonna sleep in my room for the night."

He hated the look on Judai's face. Why did it have to be so broken? Why couldn't he just put on a stupid smile and say 'cool, see you tomorrow'. Why did he have to go injecting his sadness into the silence between them?

_Fuck!_

Biting his lip, Johan turned around and began walking towards the blue dorms.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry. I-I didn't know it was such a big deal. I was just,"

"Just drop it Judai."

"Johan..."

"Judai, no!" Johan shouted, turning back to face his friend.

"Johan... you're crying..." Judai whispered, taking a step back.

Was he? Johan didn't even realize. But honestly, with the way that the night was turning out to be, he wasn't surprised.

"Johan, I'm sorry." Judai's voice cracked, genuinely not knowing how he messed up so badly.

"What, why are you sorry? What are you sorry for?" Johan asked, his head shaking slightly.

"For tonight. For making you cry. For being such a shithead and not knowing when to shut up."

Johan let out a deep sigh and rubbed his temple. He would have to take at least two Advils to make the headaches go away for the night.

"Just don't. You have nothing to be sorry about." He wiped his tears and ran a hand across his nose.

He sniffed, feeling disgusted over his action. He needed to invest in some pocket tissues. What with the cold weather coming soon, he figured he would be going through at least two packets a day.

"Yeah, I do. If, if I, if I just," Judai tried again but he really was failing.

Johan knew that there was sincerity behind Judai's distraught feeling but the words were absolutely hollow. Johan couldn't forgive him for something that Judai isn't even apologetic for. He just wished they could drop this, go to sleep muttering curses under their breath and then wake up in the morning with the night long forgotten. Why was that too much to ask?

"Judai, just drop it okay. Let's just go get some sleep." The anger that was sitting deep in his belly dissipates when he sees Judai's shoulders droop. He was resigning into himself. Probably would go to sleep muttering curses. Only difference being they would be aimed at himself rather than Johan. The mere thought of Judai hating himself made Johan's heart break. That's not right. Judai shouldn't hate himself. He wasn't made to be hated. Judai was made to be loved and cherished and adored and have his skin, his body and his very soul be peppered with sweet words and passionate kisses. And that's why Johan covers the distance between them with quick steps, grabs Judai by his jacket and looks him directly in the eyes to say, "Don't." Judai furrowed his brows and shook his head slightly, confused. Johan carried on before he could speak. "Don't do this. Don't, don't beat yourself up about it. I'm not, I'm not mad about anything that you did. I just have a lot going on in my head and I just sort of threw it on you. I tried," Johan gulped, his eyes now focused on his gripping hands, "I tried not to, but I just couldn't do it. I, I don't care that you were laughing. I mean, I do care, I love it when you laugh. My _gosh_ , I love it so _freaking_ much," He pulled his jacket closer towards him, and releasing a deep sigh, he rested his forehead against Judai's. "I, I don't, I just hate it when, I don't want people to hate you. I don't want them to be mad, or angry or even look at you like they want to hurt you in any way. It, it makes me so pissed off and I just want to yell and scream and just punch someone in the face."

"Johan..."

"I do Judai." He looked him in the eyes, frantically. Truthfully, he was surprised where all this manic energy was coming from but it was very real. "I do. When I think about you, and the way that people see you, it makes me so mad sometimes because they just don't get you. It hurts me when I realize how people just don't understand who you are. They will try to break you Judai. They will try to make you into one of them." Something clicked in Johan's mind. A realization that numbed his body, and his fire burn out. "Like me." He whispered.

"Johan, no..." Judai frantically shook his head, held onto Johan's hands, visibly scared for the one he loves so much. "No, no, you're not like them. You're _nothing_ like them. You're Johan. Johan Anderson. _My_ Johan. It doesn't matter what others say as long as you are true to yourself." He squeezed his hands and inched closer. "If you are true, and I am true, then the whole world can go screw itself. We're still young Johan. It's still far too early for us to lie in coffins. So let's live a little, hmm?" Judai peered at Johan from underneath his lashes, and rubbed his thumb lightly over his cheek. It was soft and cold, the pale skin slightly tinged with redness. He wished it would bloom into a full blush. He liked that very much on him.

"Judai..." Johan played with the hem of Judai's jacket.

"Hmm..." Judai stroked Johan's cheek with the back of his hand once more.

"Wanna go finish the movie?" Johan couldn't help the shine in his eyes. He was feeling oddly at peace. Granted his perspective needed some alterations but he figured he has his whole life for that. Who he is now is not who he was yesterday. As for the person of tomorrow, who knows how he'll be. But right now, in this moment, he wanted to be someone who loves and is loved.

"I don't really think they would like that." Judai said, with a chuckle and a wide grin adorning his youthful, vibrant face.

"No, they really wouldn't." Johan replied, giving a hearty laugh of his own. "But," He gently played with the tip of Judai's collar, "we can watch it back in my room." He offered softly, his lips trembling with shyness.

"Oh really?" Judai nudged his nose against Johan's and felt Johan's blush underneath his lips.

Ducking his head, then tilting it to an angle, Johan nodded. "Yes, really. Would you like that?" With lips parted in a grin, he leaned in ever so closely and brushed his lips with Judai's.

"Oh, I would _love_ that." Judai smiled wickedly before sucking on his bottom lip.

Johan, biting his bottom lip, ducked his head to which Judai laughed and kissed the top of his fluffy hair.


End file.
